Soap Box

I think a lot about the plight of working parents. Returning to work after a baby is a roller coaster for a few months, so I gave myself some time to figure out how I really feel about the situation. It stinks. The maximum allowed leave for a new mom with the Family Medical Leave Act is 3 months. Many new moms who make minimum wage must return to work after FOUR weeks for financial reasons. The FMLA acts takes all the vacation/sick/personal time that a woman has accrued as part of maternity leave, so when she returns to work with a newborn and really needs some flexibility, there isn't any. Many women who return to work are still nursing their babies (and are encouraged strongly to do so by the American Academy of Pediatrics until at least 12 months) and their right to do so is not protected in all states. There's so much going against working parents, it's amazing that so many families make it work.

I've noticed a trend since I've connected with other new parents. Instead of fighting the system and working to make things better for everyone, many moms are part of the 'opt out' revolution. They are not forced to stay home, they opt to. They are not housewives, they are SAHMs (stay at home moms). It's great when families have this option, but when it's increasingly common, it makes things harder for the rest of us. For example:

1) Day Care. We were literally told by one center, "We don't believe infants should spend all day in day care." For whom are they providing care? Our current day care opens after I leave for work and closes when I'm still seeing patients. If it weren't for Alan's flexible schedule, we'd have to get a nanny (which we can't afford).

2) Car Seat Inspections. Our fire station offers the service on Wednesday mornings only. When I pointed out to them that this was extremely inconvenient for working families and that the fire station is open 24/7, I got a not-so-nice response.

3) Support Groups. New moms have a rough time and new parent groups are really important. I think working moms have a double whammy- pulled in many directions and no time for play groups or friends. My community is extremely pro-woman and pro-mom, but all the family programs are on weekdays. There's nothing out there for the women who need it most.

My European friends get 6 mo to 1 year of paid maternity leave, flexibile work options and protection of the right to breast feed and/or pump at work. Why is it that our country hasn't caught on to family friendly policies?

Interested in finding out more about policital activism on famly issues? www.momsrising.org`